According to an article in today’s Washington Post, the grand total of gun deaths of any kind, including domestic abuse, criminals, gang fights, and flat-out murder was 18, 358 souls in 2005. Guess how many people committed suicide by shooting themselves? 17,002 in that same year. That means almost as many people shoot themselves as get shot. And because guns are so lethal, they’re the method of choice for suicide.

We’re looking at the wrong trees and missing the forest. We may have the best of intentions in wishing to defend our households, but we’re actually shooting our families in the foot-literally. The Washington Post quotes Matthew Miller, an epidemiologist at the Harvard School of Public Health: “If you bought a gun today, I could tell you the risk of suicide to you and your family members is going to be two- to tenfold higher over the next 20 years. There are not many things you can do to increase your risk of dying tenfold.”

Every day we remove temptations from our children’s lives because we want to protect them. But we’ve been overlooking a big temptation. If you want your kids to grow up healthy, one of the best ways to ensure their safety is to sell your guns. Read the article by clicking here.

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Rev. David Code is an Episcopal minister and family coach. His published articles and a 2′ video of his seminars are at: http://davidarthurcode.com/bio-david/

The Chicago Tribune’s Anne Stein summarized what she learned from this popular book in five points (excerpted below). I could not agree more with those five points. But here’s what troubles me: all five points seem like self-evident common-sense, and they’re just a variation on the advice of most of the dozens of parenting books I’ve read.

To me, the interesting question that this, and other self-help books I’ve read leave unanswered is WHY? We know what we should do to have good relationships. Why don’t we do them?
–David

From Anne Stein’s article:

“1. When you battle your children, you never win. If your child has broken a rule, calmly state the consequences (”No McDonald’s today”), turn your back, then walk away. No arguing, no repeating.

2. To build your child’s character, let reality be a teacher; if your child blows off her homework, don’t do it for her.

3. If you asked your child to do something and he hasn’t, don’t go on to his next event, no matter what it is. Just calmly state “We’re not going,” then walk away.

4. Rules don’t work unless your child feels love and connection from family. Without connection, you’ll always have an adversarial relationship with your kids.

5. Show respect and build self-worth by expecting the best of your child. Don’t repeat instructions and “never do for them what they can and should do for themselves.”

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Rev. David Code is an Episcopal minister and family coach. His bio and a 2′ video of his seminars is at: http://davidarthurcode.com/bio-david/

Kathleen Parker of The National Review takes it for granted that men and women are simply different. In her article, she writes, “Harvard zoologist E. O. Wilson wrote in his book In Search of Nature that ‘what is’ in human nature — and what may explain our rut of domestic inequity — probably goes back to our Pleistocene hunter-gatherer forebears. None of which means we can’t change, but it might take some time. Genetic bias isn’t as malleable as gender bias and is intense enough, writes Wilson, ‘to cause a substantial division of labor even in the most free and most egalitarian of future societies.’”

Rev. David Code is an Episcopal minister and family coach. His blog at the Centre Daily Times: http://community.centredaily.com/?q=blog/1305
His published articles and a 2′ video of his seminars: http://davidarthurcode.com/bio-david/

On the one hand, the Journal agrees with Marano that “over-involved parents are sapping the will of America’s youth, keeping them from learning how to make decisions and solve problems for themselves,” and quotes her as writing that, “even as parents obsessively strap bike helmets on their kids’ heads and squirt antiseptic gels on their hands, the adults themselves cavalierly break up families with divorce and tolerate the rampant sexualization of prepubescent girls. In short, we’re focusing on the wrong risks.” Well said.

On the other hand, however, a little dive into history is a useful thing. The Journal points out that “Teddy Roosevelt, the quintessential American anti-wimp — he once killed a mountain lion with a knife — grew up enjoying a close relationship with his parents, including extended family vacations (no summer camp!), home schooling (call the teachers’ union!) and close contact even after he left for college (cut the cord, Mrs. Roosevelt!). TR’s own children suffered similar “overparenting,” yet they went on to be war heroes and successful citizens. American history teems with similar examples.”

This article says so much so well that you mustn’t miss it: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121201777980927709.html?mod=todays_us_opinion

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David Code is an Episcopal minister, family coach, writer, and founder of The Center for Staying Married & Raising Great Kids. Read more about his work at http://DavidArthurCode.com.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101021111-386944,00.html