Create a New Kid by Friday
There’s a hot new book on parenting that’s already #187 on Amazon’s best-seller list. It’s called, “Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days”, by Dr. Kevin Leman, a psychologist, marriage and family expert, and common guest on “Good Morning America.”
The Chicago Tribune’s Anne Stein summarized what she learned from this popular book in five points (excerpted below). I could not agree more with those five points. But here’s what troubles me: all five points seem like self-evident common-sense, and they’re just a variation on the advice of most of the dozens of parenting books I’ve read.
To me, the interesting question that this, and other self-help books I’ve read leave unanswered is WHY? We know what we should do to have good relationships. Why don’t we do them?
–David
From Anne Stein’s article:
“1. When you battle your children, you never win. If your child has broken a rule, calmly state the consequences (”No McDonald’s today”), turn your back, then walk away. No arguing, no repeating.
2. To build your child’s character, let reality be a teacher; if your child blows off her homework, don’t do it for her.
3. If you asked your child to do something and he hasn’t, don’t go on to his next event, no matter what it is. Just calmly state “We’re not going,” then walk away.
4. Rules don’t work unless your child feels love and connection from family. Without connection, you’ll always have an adversarial relationship with your kids.
5. Show respect and build self-worth by expecting the best of your child. Don’t repeat instructions and “never do for them what they can and should do for themselves.”
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Rev. David Code is an Episcopal minister and family coach. His bio and a 2′ video of his seminars is at: http://davidarthurcode.com/bio-david/
