This cover story from Time Magazine suggests that we parents have focused our energy in the wrong place. We’re all killing ourselves to provide our children with perfect, trauma-free childhoods. In fact, we can have more positive impact on a child’s life course by focusing on her first 9 months in the WOMB […]

I thought this brief article (from Canada’s top newsmagazine, “Maclean’s”) was an excellent summary of the sometimes unhealthy triangle I have observed between parents and their only child. It also addresses the question of whether overparenting stems from true love, or a parent’s hidden agenda:
http://www.macleans.ca/culture/lifestyle/article.jsp?content=20080430_106899_106899
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David Code is an Episcopal minister, family coach, writer, and […]

Our herd instincts have hard-wired us to worry about what others think of us, but defining ourselves in our family of origin sets us free.
We humans are hard-wired to worry about what other people think of us, because the herd is essential to our survival. In the herds of families or corporations, we know […]

Building a dependable friendship with your spouse takes the pressure off your kids because they don’t have to become your surrogate friend in an unhealthy codependence. It also sets a great example for them to emulate when they marry and start families. Dependable friendship comes from sharing your thoughts, feelings and dreams with […]

In the name of love, we intervene too often in our child’s welfare. We don’t realize we’re messing with Nature’s natural weaning process, and our children pay a huge price for that. Couples may not be aware how the distance between them affects their perception of their child’s alleged “problem.” But the […]

I will never forget the words of a doctor from Columbia Medical School who specializes in children’s cancer. She said, “I seldom worry about a child’s prognosis when I see her parents fighting with each other. Cancer is a crisis, and all that stress has to go somewhere. It’s the kid whose […]

The mother-infant bond is an animal instinct that is essential to an infant’s survival, and also brings us primal joy as parents. But if we don’t emotionally wean our children, it jeopardizes their future relationships (not to mention our marriage).
The truth is, we often feel more love from our kids than from […]

You may be surprised to learn that having sex releases a hormone in the brain called oxytocin, which is strongly associated with the instincts of both pair-bonding and the mother-infant bond. Given this primal neurochemical link, the goal is to achieve a balance of intimacy and separateness in both relationships. With Mom you […]