The only reason your partner isn’t already perfect may be your own perceptions, rather than his or her flaws. Once you learn how to control and reduce your anxiety instinct, you will increasingly accept what used to bug you about your partner (and yourself—bonus!). So “choosing your perfect partner” is really a matter […]

Mothers can go back to their careers guilt-free. A leading anthropologist and primatologist named Sarah Hrdy points out that “there is remarkably little in the primate evolutionary record that turns a female’s sex into a precharted destiny of full-time stay-at-home caretaking (”Mother Nature,” p. 494).” Since ancient times, females have been dual-career. As mothers foraged […]

Many factors go into the chemistry we feel for another, but I’m going to discuss just one: we only feel chemistry for potential mates at roughly our same level of anxiety. Anxiety is more than a nervous feeling. It is a natural survival instinct within us, just like our mating instinct. Our […]

The “chemistry” we feel when we’re selecting a mate goes beyond just choosing a nice person with a nice appearance. “Chemistry” also implies that there’s a mutual attraction, where both people tacitly agree that there’s a reciprocal benefit in “pair-bonding.” This suggests a kind of compatibility and give-and-take in the traits each mate […]