What are you willing to die for? What a scary question! How confronting! But, I would like to suggest that perhaps that question is not so scary after all.

I remember doing a Pastoral Care internship several years ago at a hospital in New Jersey. On assignment in the Intensive Care Unit, I got to know a surgeon–an African American man originally from Nigeria. I remember how he told me over lunch about his father who had spent his whole life in Nigeria and was part of the pro-democracy movement there. His leadership and beliefs were a threat to the authorities, and he was finally assassinated.

I watched that doctor tell me about his father, and all that his father had gone through. He then told me about how he intended to carry on his father’s legacy-not so much in the political arena as in the medical arena, but by helping people-and the doctor was indeed a great surgeon. There was something moving about that conversation that sticks with me years later. It wasn’t so much the words that he said, but more a presence about him - a kind of intensity - in his eyes; a look of determination–a dogged unstoppability. Watching him talk about his own father’s mission in life was powerful.

Jesus teaches us how we can bring that dogged unstoppability to our own lives in Luke 9:18-24. You and I can learn much from these two haunting lines: “Anyone who seeks to save his life will lose it and anyone who loses his life will save it.” I think we don’t even realize that we’re already living our lives in a half-asleep, half-dead manner. Strangely enough, we go to great lengths to defend and preserve our half-dead lives! What do I mean by that?

My wife Karen and I used to volunteer once a week in Cabrini Hospice in New York City. Every Thursday night we would go do a couple of hours’ work and then go for dinner. I remember one night in particular, walking down that long, antiseptic-smelling hall, approaching the room where Mr. Chen was lying. Mr. Chen was a Chinese-American who was dying of liver cancer. He had a kind of simple candor that some people have just before they die.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve lived in this country for over fifty years now. I was a civil engineer for the City of New York and built bridges and other urban projects. I worked long hours and that’s how I spent most of my life. I had a marriage, but it dissolved because I was never around. I had one son from whom I am estranged. He doesn’t come to visit me even though I am lying here on my deathbed.” He looked at me and said, “For what? You know, I lived this life, built my bridges, lost my wife, lost my son and now I’m about to die - for what?”

What he meant was, here he was at the end of his life, too late to re-do it, and what did it all mean? What did his life count for in the end? So what?

Let’s look at our own lives for a moment - If you were dying and had to recount what your life stood for, what would you say? What do you put your life’s blood into every day? One might say something like, “Well, I need food, clothing, and shelter for my family. I need to make a good dollar to put some money away for retirement and for the kids’ college education. I’d like to have a few friends, get some work done, watch a little TV–that kind of thing.” So, that’s what we may be putting our life’s energy into these days.

Alternatively, perhaps you would say to me, “I can tell you that I’m willing to die for my kids. I’m willing to die for my family.” I agree. Certainly, I would be willing to die for my family too, if they somehow came under attack. At least for me, that threat is happily only hypothetical. So, the question in the meantime is, what are we dying for? What are you and I dying for?

Again, Jesus haunts us with those two lines, “Anyone who seeks to save his life will lose it and anyone who loses his life will save it.” Jesus is saying to us, “Hey folks! You may be overwhelmed by those lines but, in fact, you’ve got nothing to lose. You’ve got nothing to lose because you’re already living half-asleep, half-dead lives. So, why do you work so hard to preserve them as-is? For what?”

Right now most of us are half-dead, sitting in the stands, watching the game of life-instead of playing it. God invites us today to get out on the court and to play full on, to see what it feels like to come alive. To come alive!

You and I can think of obvious examples of people that were out on the court, playing full-on and fully alive–the difference they made in our world inspires us even today. Allow me to list the obvious examples: Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, or Mother Teresa. When I think of these people, I wonder what they all have in common. What separates them from normal folks like you and me? I think these people had a strong sense of determination. Someone like Mother Teresa almost seemed to have a steel rod in her body–she was unshakable in her resolve. I think another characteristic of these people is that they don’t seem to worry much about what other people think. They are not too concerned about how “The Jones next-door” feel about them.

Finally, the other characteristic I think these amazing people have in common is that they somehow enjoy a sense of peace even in the midst of all the chaos, resistance and struggle in which they find themselves. Think of someone like Gandhi or Mother Teresa and their peace, even in the face of their unbelievable challenges-they had that admirable, enviable sense of peace.

We can choose to think occasionally about these exceptional people who come along every so often. We can glaze our eyes over and say, “Well yeah, that’s great, but I’ll never be like them - how could I possibly be like them?” In my opinion, that represents half-asleep, half-dead thinking. We have another option, which is to consider the normal people who do extraordinary things, like a man I know named Alan.

Alan also worked in the Cabrini Hospice as a volunteer, and we’d see him on Thursday nights. Alan brought ice water to dying people - that’s it. Here’s what is exceptional: he brought ice water to dying people every day for twenty years. Karen and I would go there on Thursday nights, spend two hours, and leave feeling as if we had just given blood. But Alan was back there every day with no sense of a burden on his shoulders. He was happy–I dare say enthusiastic–as he brought ice water to dying people.

Of course, the ice water was just an excuse. It was just an opportunity to get in the door: bring the ice water, start up a conversation; bring the ice water, “Would you like to pray together?”; bring the ice water, “Can I read to you?” Alan would develop these amazing relationships with people. You could just feel the difference that he made in their lives - the impact - every day for twenty years - tireless. Do you see any characteristics emerging here? Alan had that steel rod inside his body. He had that determination, with no concern for what other people said about him - because sometimes Alan got turned down, and it was not pretty! Alan’s response to any insult would be “Thank you very much.” Then, he would go into the next room with a new pitcher of ice water and that was it. It was striking to talk with him - Alan had that sense of peace - that admirable, enviable sense of peace about him as he did his work - taking ice water to dying people. In the meantime, you and I continue to be half-dead in the stands - looking to get out on the court. I’m surprised Alan doesn’t show up to bring ice water to us!

I would like to do a little homework with you. I invite you to consider what you’re “dying for” right now. What are you putting your life’s blood into? Where do you spend your time and energy? What are you committed to right now? Think about that and write down your top three or five points and let’s be clear: there’s no right or wrong answers. If you’re dying to watch Oprah, write it down, that counts! Let’s take stock; let’s get clear about what we’re currently dying for.

Once you’re clear on that, then ask yourself, “What would I rather be accomplishing with my life? How would I like to be remembered? What kind of legacy would I like to leave behind after I go?” What do I want to stand for, such that I’m willing to make a commitment and follow through?

So how does this story apply to our lives? Jesus says, “Hey, you want to try and save your half dead life? Don’t bother, because you’re going to lose it anyway!”

To save the other half of your half-dead life before you lose it, get out of the stands now; leave your half-dead life behind and come play on the court now. Come make a stand. When you think clearly about your current life’s goals, you realize that you have nothing to lose. Here’s the irony: from the moment you make that commitment to get out on the court, you will never be more fully alive and at peace as when you are in that moment. So, the question “what are you willing to die for?” is not such a scary question after all!

I invite you to pray: “Lord, thank you for helping us to understand today that we’re half-dead and trying to save our half-dead lives. But, we really have nothing to lose. Lord, help us to take a stand today; help us to find what it is you want us to contribute - what legacy to leave behind in this world when we die. Lord, help us to take that stand. Give us something we are willing to die for, so that we can finally come alive. Amen.

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