Imagine this: you rub the lantern and out pops a genie. You have only one minute to make three wishes. What are your top three personal desires? This is a tougher question than one might expect. Isn’t that surprising? If a genie showed up on our doorstep this afternoon, we probably could not even sum up the top three things we want in one minute. The good news is that by the end of this article, you will know your top three wishes and how to get them–even if a genie doesn’t appear.

In Luke 11:1-13 Jesus uses two metaphors to teach us how to pray, and to promise us that God will answer our prayers. Firstly, Jesus compares prayer to persistently knocking on a friend’s door until he gives you what you want. Secondly, Jesus compares God’s generosity in prayer to our kindness in giving our kids what they ask for.

So what can you and I learn from this? Persistence pays off better than you think. Jesus also is teaching us clarity. We need to get clear on what we want and pray specifically for it, sometimes for a very long time. Persistence and clarity. However, let’s face it: You and I don’t really believe that God answers all our prayers, right? Is Jesus therefore making an empty promise?
I believe that getting results in our prayer life depends largely on us fulfilling our end of the bargain.

I have a friend named Ken, and his prayer life is striking. Ken has been praying a certain prayer for years now. That’s persistence. Ken prays at least five times daily for a thinking, resourceful mind, and a peaceful non-anxious presence. What does he mean by a thinking, resourceful mind? I have known Ken for a long time. He used to be the kind of guy that, when a crisis came up or somebody said something mean to him, his first response was one of, shall we say, emotion! Ken is slowly learning how to respond to a person or situation rather than reacting to them.

It’s a little bit like playing catch. Ken was the kind of guy who, when someone hurled a 90-mile an hour verbal fastball at him, he would fire it right back even harder. However, he has changed a bit over the past few years. What I notice now is that Ken will catch that fastball, then hold it and look at it a little bit. He might toss it up and down a few times, reflect on it and then more leisurely toss that fastball back. I can see results in Ken’s prayer life. Ken is a different man than he used to be. He has a more thinking, resourceful mind with which to face his challenges.

Ken also prays five times daily for a peaceful, non-anxious presence. Doesn’t that sound good? Serenity and calm. We all face our problems and challenges in life. I haven’t found any shortcuts around that. Wouldn’t it be great if we could face those challenges with a peaceful, non-anxious presence? I mean, wouldn’t that make it easier to deal with whatever it is that comes down the pike?

Ken has been praying that same prayer at least five times a day for over two years now. That’s a long time, but he is getting results. His results are not lightning flashes, where the genie instantly pops out of the bottle and poof! –your wish is fulfilled. His progress is more like millimeter-by-millimeter, or inch-by-inch. As Ken persists in this disciplined prayer life, it really is working. It is just hard to quantify. Is he fifty percent more peaceful than he used to be? I don’t know, but I do see a difference. I think Ken’s case is a great example of what Jesus is teaching us in this passage. You have to keep knocking on that door even if you are discouraged, even if you don’t think it’s going to work. You have to keep knocking on that door even if you are upset that your friend hasn’t come to the door to give you bread. You have to keep pounding on the door. If we haven’t been pounding on the door for a couple of years, I don’t think we have anything to say about whether or not God answers prayer.

So, why don’t we do that? Why don’t you and I just get clear on what we want then persist, persist, persist to get results? Are we lazy? Are we bad people? Why is it such a struggle for you and me to get clear on what we want and persist at it? I think it has something to do with chatter and static.

At any given moment, you and I have so much chatter going on in our minds, so much static, that it is really hard to hear what’s going on in our own heads. Think about it: You are at the office or wherever you are. Do the following questions often pop up in your head:

“What did so-and-so mean by that?”

“So-and-so seems upset. I guess I better help out right away.”

“I wonder how I should respond to this.”

“I wonder if she likes me.”

“What does that mean?”

These kinds of questions of course do not come in slow motion. They all seem to be coming at the same time, right? We often have sensory overload in our own minds even before somebody actually says something to us. We have all these meanings we make of what’s going on around us, some of which are true and some of which are misunderstandings. Chatter and static in our heads make it tough to get clear and persist on anything.

In Stephen Covey’s best seller, Seven Habits Of Highly Successful People, he talks about “Quadrant 3,” the category of things in life that are important but not urgent. Important but not urgent. Unfortunately, in that quadrant often lies what we value, but not what we get around to. Things like relationships, our mission in life, or our contributions to community. We spend most of our time in the chatter and false urgency of the chaos going on around us. We often only notice the stuff that really matters when we look back on our lives, after the fact, when maybe it’s too late. We didn’t get to it because it just didn’t seem urgent enough at the time.

Here are a few examples of what prevent us from addressing the “Important But Not Urgent” items of “Quadrant 3″:

Many of us suffer from the syndrome known as FSU-False Sense of Urgency. The conversation in our heads goes something like this: “I was on-track to accomplish several priorities, but the phone rang and so-and-so seemed really upset about such-and-such. What does that mean? How do I respond? Man, I guess I have to resolve his darn such-and-such first before I can get any peace to focus on my priorities…” Without realizing it, all of a sudden we are caught up in FSU, a False Sense of Urgency created by someone else’s upset. Our priorities (which one hopes had been clearly laid out in the first place) suddenly fall to the wayside as we begin to put out the many “emotional fires” that pop up in our daily lives.

Speaking of fires, here is another syndrome that we often deal with. I call it OPD-Other Peoples’ Drama. Here’s an example of the unspoken dialogue in our minds: “My day is going along great, I am having a good time, and I’m getting a lot done. Suddenly, so-and-so came into the office and he said such-and-such. He was upset, he implicated me in his drama, and now I can’t get him off my mind. He was angry and that made me angry because he misunderstood, but he never gave me a chance to explain. Now I’m upset and I just wish he had never come in! I wish that I didn’t have to deal with him. I wish that I could rub the genie’s lamp and ‘poof!’ that person would be gone…” In the absence of a genie, however, things don’t quite work that simply, do they?

Do you know where the following passage comes from: “The Lord helps those who help themselves”? Many would say it comes from scripture. In fact, it comes from Ben Franklin’s almanac that he used to publish before he became famous. I think Jesus is saying the same thing to us in Luke 11:1-13. If you want to get results in life, the Lord helps those who help themselves. Prayer is one of the best, most practical tools God gives us to help ourselves. If we can get clear about what we want, and persist in prayerfully knocking on God’s door, we will be amazed at what God will do.

What can we take away from this teaching that will make a difference in our lives today? You and I need to get clear about what we want. What three things do we really want to receive?

Let’s go back to the genie. I have been watching a lot of Walt Disney lately with my kids, and I love how Robin Williams plays the genie in “Aladdin.” Those of you who have seen it know it’s brilliantly funny. So just in case the genie shows up and offers you three wishes, we are going to break these wishes down so it’s easier for you to get clear on what you want. Here we go:

Wish #1: Pick a personality trait that you would like to have. What would you like to be for your first wish? Would you like to be peaceful? Would you like to be accepting? Unstoppable? Compassionate? Be careful what you pick because of course like Ken, you may be praying for this for a while! What’s the number one personality trait that you would like the genie to give you?

Wish #2: Let’s talk about legacy. What kind of a legacy would you like to leave behind after you die? What kind of contribution would you like to make during your time here on earth? What would you like to give to your community? Would you like to start a non-profit organization? Write a book? Would you like to provide a service that you know people need but no one is doing it? What do you wish the genie would give you as a legacy that will last long after you leave this earth? What do you think God would want your legacy to be?

Wish #3: Relationships. What relationship would you like to have or to improve? Would you like to get married? Would you like to have a better marriage? Would you like to forgive that person who drives you crazy? Would you like to reconcile with one of your parents or siblings? Or get along with your boss?

It’s easier to choose our top three wishes when we break them down. We have clarity on what to pray for. We have chosen a personality trait. We have defined a legacy we want to leave behind after we go. In addition, there’s the relationship we want to have or to improve. We now have the necessary clarity. The persistence is up to us.

Prepare yourself to pray for these things when you wake up, before you eat each meal, and before you go to sleep. I predict that, inch-by-inch, these three wishes will come to you. If you are blessed, one of them may fall into your lap quite quickly. If your success is not so instant, then persevere with devotion to the exact same prayer for as long as it takes.

Persistence and clarity. We have to keep pounding on that door with God. The more focused we are on what we want, the less time we will waste with FSU and OPD. Therefore, by the grace of God, we become more likely to get our three wishes. In closing, I invite you to pray:

“Thank you Lord for helping us to get clear on what we’re asking of you. Please give us the guts and the courage to keep banging on that door until you get so tired of hearing from us that you answer our prayer! Amen.”

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How to Clarify What You Want”

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